January was a month of acceptance, gratitude and finding a cause beyond myself. First of all I came to accept that I may never know what happened to my body last year but a few days into the new year the pain and nausea went away and for the first time in over a year I was able to function as a normal human being. It is an odd thing to have spent the last year in survival mode and suddenly be free to be yourself again outside of the pain. You have a choice, the choice to look in the mirror and say poor me or stand up and start getting things together. I have choosen the later.
This year for my resolution I decided to get "my power back". I have felt like over the last year a lot had been taken away from me but now that the worst seems to be over I have realized that a lot has been given as well. I am so grateful for the little things now. The ability to walk, memorize, remember conversations with dear friends, smile, sleep, not feel pain, have the energy to go beyond myself and I could go on and on about all the things I am grateful for. I have a greater compassion and love for those who may not be in the best places in their lives. I definitely now have a greater appreciation for the simple things. I have come to recognize the promptings and am quicker to act. Really when it comes down to it though I felt like my world was turned upside down, I am a better person for it in the end. Hard times are the best times to find out what you are really made of. They will build your character, forge your spirit and enlighten you to become more than you ever thought you could be. Though I never want to go through what I went through again, I am grateful for the experience and lessons that it has brought.
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