I went to visit the Weber State Correctional Facility last night AKA The "Sheriffs Compound". I have a friend who is spending a little time up there. I was sitting writing him a letter when I thought to myself 'I wonder how far away Ogden is'. Well folks Ogden is closer than I had imagined! It is only an hour away! So right then and there I decided that the letter writing would have to wait and I was going on an adventure. Five O'clock hit and I was out of work and into my car driving up to see my friend. I was stoked, I haven't seen him in a few years but we have been writing each other since he went in. I am pretty sure that the state should sponsor a prison art show because I get some of the coolest artwork in my letters from guys who are in there. My friend doesn't draw much more than stick figures so he has some of the guys jazz up my letters for him. They are my favorite! If you are looking for a pen pal with some art skills I could probably hook you up....just saying.
So I head up there, I had called earlier to let them know that I was going to come up and the lady said that would be fine and that I should be able to get in. I get up there and I was a little scared. See I know that all the prisoners are locked up but that is not who makes me nervous. It is the people on the outside that make me nervous. So I made sure my doors were locked, my purse was in the trunk and I am pretty sure I even said a little prayer on the way into the compound just for safety's sake. I get in there and there is this lady behind a sheet of bullet proof glass! Someone had the same idea as me. She wasn't scared about being inside the prison but of the people on the outside who were coming in. Smart choice I say, Smart Choice. I went up to the front of the line for her to tell me that I have to make an appointment a day in advance. Me telling her that some lady told me it was okay to come had no effect on her decision to turn me away. I can't believe it, it was such a valid argument (note the sarcasm).
So my prison adventure for the day had ended and was not a success but I was able to make an appointment for Sat. I made sure that it was during daylight hours this time so I would not be walking in the dark parking lot alone. I feel like it was a smart choice.
You might all be laughing at my little excursion but it was inspired by a quote from a very prominent man. Thomas Jefferson once said "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today". And that is the lesson for today. Stop waiting for the tomorrows of life and do it today. It might not always work out but it might make for some opportunities down the road.

Resolutions

I have assessed the damage and am here to tell you that it could have been worse. I have devised a plan to "Get Back The Power" in 2010.

1. Give Back: I have found that through out my life there is nothing better for a broken spirit than to get out and help somebody else.

2. Get back into daily habits that promote well being: Last year I barely had enough energy to walk up the stairs. This definitely took a tole on things such as daily exercise etc. I need to set up new habits to fill in for the bad habits I now need to break.

3. Get involved: I love being involved with people and organizations. I pretty much took myself out of everything by the end of last year and now need to get back into things.

4. Appreciate where I have been and take the necessary steps in order to move forward

ok so it is not exactly a laid out step by step plan but it is something to start with

The giving

January was a month of acceptance, gratitude and finding a cause beyond myself. First of all I came to accept that I may never know what happened to my body last year but a few days into the new year the pain and nausea went away and for the first time in over a year I was able to function as a normal human being. It is an odd thing to have spent the last year in survival mode and suddenly be free to be yourself again outside of the pain. You have a choice, the choice to look in the mirror and say poor me or stand up and start getting things together. I have choosen the later.
This year for my resolution I decided to get "my power back". I have felt like over the last year a lot had been taken away from me but now that the worst seems to be over I have realized that a lot has been given as well. I am so grateful for the little things now. The ability to walk, memorize, remember conversations with dear friends, smile, sleep, not feel pain, have the energy to go beyond myself and I could go on and on about all the things I am grateful for. I have a greater compassion and love for those who may not be in the best places in their lives. I definitely now have a greater appreciation for the simple things. I have come to recognize the promptings and am quicker to act. Really when it comes down to it though I felt like my world was turned upside down, I am a better person for it in the end. Hard times are the best times to find out what you are really made of. They will build your character, forge your spirit and enlighten you to become more than you ever thought you could be. Though I never want to go through what I went through again, I am grateful for the experience and lessons that it has brought.

To start from scratch

I created this blog in the beginning because I feel like there are so many times in life that instead of taking chances we take the safe route. I am not saying that the safe route is not the right route but that most of the time we base our decisions on insecurity's and not on possibilities thus hindering our progression. I want to live my life in the realm of possiblity and in order to do that I am cleaning the slate, trying new things and choosing that life of possibilities.